Loss and Gain
by MuggleBeene
Summary: Lily Potter is not thrilled that Teddy Lupin is marrying her cousin Victoire.  Will she ever understand why?  A story in three parts, slightly set in the Professor Muggle series.
1. Not Thrilled

_Written for Louise Foxhall's Triptych Competition_

**Not Thrilled**

_June 2021_

Lily wondered what Vic saw when she looked in the mirror. Did she see past the long, silver-blonde hair, china-blue eyes and pretty features that so many others admired or was she, like them, so captivated by her outwardly beauty that she saw nothing else? It didn't seem fair that she was marrying Teddy, not only marrying him but taking him away from her.

After smoothing down her sea green bridesmaid dress Lily sighed and looked out the window. The chair was just barely high enough for her to actually be able to look out the window without a great deal of effort, a result of her distinct lack of height. Yes, she was thirteen and her mum said that she would probably have another growth spurt, but the truth was that she knew she wasn't going to grow much more, everybody knew she wouldn't grow much more but nobody would say anything.

Except Teddy.

Teddy was always the one who she felt was her real brother, not annoying James and too-weird Albus. When she was little and the two gits wouldn't play with her she knew that she could count on Teddy. Who was the one who would read her Muggle comic books? Who was the one who would let her dress him up in her mum's jewelry and have a tea party with her stuffed animals? Who was the one who always included her? More importantly, who was the one who answered all _those _questions, the ones she'd had after that day when her mum and dad told her what really happened when Voldemort was defeated? Teddy.

And now he was marrying her. Victoire, the annoying older cousin, the one who always made the boys drool, the one who was so bloody…perfect. Vic could wear anything; everything came in Vic's size instead of hers. She had been so annoying whenever they had to go to Shell Cottage. Lily could hear her as if it was yesterday.

"Maman, please do not let little Lily go into my room! I do not want babies to muss my things!"

Yes, she was five and had been in the garden and dripping with mud, but it was the tone that Vic has said it that has always irritated her. Now that same cousin stood in her perfect, French-designed, French-made wedding gown. The annoying part was that it looked…perfect. Thankfully Rose walked over, put her arm on the back of the chair and leaned in to whisper.

"I may vomit."

Lily stifled a laugh, looked over to see if anyone was paying attention, and was relieved when they weren't. "It is a bit much, isn't it?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "_Only_ the best for Victoire."

"I still don't know what he sees in her." Rose rolled her eyes yet again so Lily continued. "Besides from the obvious. She's been horrible this whole time. The fittings, everything. Rosie, have you seen anything?"

After a deep sigh Rose shook her head. "I may be a seer, Lils, but that doesn't mean I can do it on command. Oh wait, I'm getting something now…" She put her fingers to her temples. "Yes, yes, it's going to be a très beautiful wedding and everything will be absolute perfection and you're going to be annoying because she's marrying Teddy. Oh, and Mum and Dad will have a row about how much firewhiskey Dad will drink at the reception."

Lily snorted, causing Victoire and her bridesmaids to give the girls an exasperated look. After they'd turned back to Victoire, Lily leaned her head back on the chair. "I'm not a seer but I can figure out the one about your mum and dad. Really, they'll have a row? Astounding. Alert the press."

An elderly woman in expensive robes with an oversize feathered hat walked into the room and clapped her hands twice. "Les filles, le temps est à portée de main. Places, s'il vous plait."

Lily looked up to Rose. "Well?"

Rose reached for Lily's arm and pulled her up. "She says they're ready and it's time to take our places. I really wish Victoire would have picked England for the location, I'm tired of translating everything."

-ooo-

Lily stood next to the table, impatiently waiting for her mum to fix her hair. During the ceremony a piece of hair had fallen out of the elaborate style that Victoire insisted all the bridesmaids wear, and Lily's attempts to tuck it back into place were highly visible to the guests. After a few minutes Lily shifted her weight, as the low heels were fashionable, yet very uncomfortable.

"Lily Luna Potter, stand still or I'll never get this fixed." Ginny shook her head and took out her wand. "I suppose I'll do Mum's trick. Hold still." With a wave of her wand Lily's hair shot back up into the style and firmly stuck into place. "Now don't touch it, it'll be sticky for at least a half hour."

"Mum! What did you do?" Lily reached towards her hair but Ginny stopped her arm.

"What did I just say? I'll take care of it later tonight." She pursed her lips and gave her daughter 'the look.' "And remember, this is a happy time, Lily. Victoire is your cousin and Teddy…"

"Is our Teddy." Lily's voice was far from enthusiastic. "I know, I know. But why…"

"We've been through this, over and over. Teddy and Victoire are married now, so you'll just have to get used to it. Honestly, Lily, I don't know why you're so upset about this. Teddy's an official part of the family now."

"But he was official before! Dad's his godfather, that's official."

"Problem?" Harry Potter sat down at the table next to Ginny and gave his daughter a quick once over. "Don't worry, Lily, your hair looks beautiful."

"That's not it, Dad!" Lily sighed dramatically and walked away from her parents. They didn't understand. Nobody understood except Rosie. She made her way through the crowd around the cake and drinks section of the room and scanned for Rosie's curly brown hair. Finally, after almost giving up and deciding to hide in some unoccupied room far away from everyone, she saw her cousin sitting next to her father at a table far away from everything. Both of the Weasleys were sitting there as if they were waiting for a train that was overdue by hours, nursing drinks and looked bored out of their minds.

"Rosie!" Lily sat down hurriedly next to her cousin. "You have to help me; I'm going to go mental if I don't do something."

"No kidding, Shorty." Ron took a sip of champagne and made a face. "I know this stuff's expensive and classy and all that, but it tastes like shite."

"Dad." Rose rolled her eyes, took a hold of her sparkling juice and stood up quickly. "Um, Lily and I are, um, um…"

"Bye." Ron waved at the two of them. "Oh, Rosie, if you see your mum send her over this way. And if you see Hugo, tell him to stop it."

Lily looked at her uncle oddly. "What's Hugo done?"

Ron shrugged. "Dunno, something, probably."

Lily and Rose wandered through the guests, only stopping momentarily when they informed Hermione that Ron was looking for her, and then made their way off towards a table that seemed empty. As soon as Rosie a voice came from the chair.

"Get off you cow!"

Lily's eyes widened. She sprang up from her chair and pulled. As soon as the invisibility cloak was removed an irritated James Potter sat in the chair, visible to all.

"James!" Lily narrowed her eyebrows. "Dad will kill you if he finds out you've nicked his cloak!"

James reached out and snatched the cloak away from his sister. "And he won't find out, will he Lils? Remember, I know you didn't stay over with your roommate Marjorie, you went out on a date with that twat."

"How did you…" Lily huffed, decided against saying something and sat down in a chair next to her brother. "And what in Merlin's name were you doing?'

A smirk spread across James' face. "Well, I heard one of Vic's cousins say something about me, so I thought I'd hide out here and see what they had to say. You know, if I could…"

"Oh shut up, James." Rose threw a fork at him. "I really don't want to hear about your sick little fantasies."

"Thinking of getting married like Teddy?" Lily waggled her head back and forth. "You know, since you try to do everything Teddy does? Going to be an Auror, too?"

"Merlin, no!" James looked as if he'd been slapped. "Why limit myself to one bird? More than enough of me to go 'round. And _no_, Lils, I'm _not_ going to be an Auror. I get enough of the 'eldest son' shite as it is. And I don't do everything Ted does."

Rose coughed into her hand. "Bullshit."

"Piss off, Rosie." James stood up. "Besides, have you heard what Ted's done? He went and bought a house. I'm not doing that. All that work? You know how much Dad has us working on our place. Godric, no, I'm going to have a flat. Let someone else take care of it. Now if you two cows will bugger off I'm going to find a bridesmaid." He winked at them. "Or two. You know, my Dad's famous."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I hate him."

"Of course you do, it's James. He's always been a prat." Rosie propped her head up with her elbow, which narrowly missed someone's leftover cake. "And did you know Ted bought a house? Can't imagine what that's like. Only the best for Victoire. Probably in the best part of London with only the finest furniture…"

"And a staff of ten house elves." Lily leaned her head onto the back of the chair. "Food flown in daily from France, trips everywhere in the world to the most fabulous locations. Oh, and probably a fat promotion at the Ministry. 'Oh Victoire, the Department of International Magical Relations would fall apart without you! You can't be a clerk; we're promoting you up to the top spot!' Stun me now."

The girls were silent for a moment until Rose looked over suddenly. "Wait a tic, did you really sneak off for a date with your boyfriend? Graham Kent was stupid enough to risk your Dad? What'd you do?"

"Yes, we did. Told Dad I was staying with Marjorie, and I did. But I just got there a lot later than what he thought. We just went to Madame Puddifoot's. To be honest it wasn't that much fun. He kind of made a show that we were out. He was nicer when we were alone, though."

"At least you have a boyfriend." Rose took a drink of her sparkling juice , made a face and waggled her glass. "Think we could get the real stuff?"

"Right. Like they'd give a thirteen year old girl a real drink. You're fifteen but it won't work. I heard Mum say there's an age-check charm on the glasses. Seventeen minimum."

"Bollocks." Rose made a face and then looked hesitantly over to Lily. "Um, have you ever had any of the real stuff?" After seeing Lily shake her head Rose nodded. "Me neither. Oh well."

Lily's shoulders slumped. "Now what? I did what I was supposed to, I was a good little bridesmaid and now what? This is boring."

Rose heard her name and saw her brother Hugo walk by with Albus and HR Boyd. She noticed that HR looked at Lily and then turned away suddenly. "Um, maybe we should ask them if they want to dance?" She motioned towards the boys."

"With who?" Lily looked to where Rose had pointed, but instead of the boys there were two elderly, and quite rotund, wizards standing next to each other and drinking. "Rose, I know you're desperate…"

"Sod off." Rose returned to her almost empty sparkling juice. "At least we only have to endure this until Ted and Vic leave. Mum said they're sending all of us back to the hotel."

"Brilliant."

-ooo-

The time had come for Mr. and Mrs. Lupin to leave for their honeymoon, which caused a large crowd around the couple. Lily stood next to her parents as Ted and Victoire made their way around. Finally, almost at the end of the farewell, they reached the Potters. Ted embraced Ginny heartily as Vic hugged Harry and kissed his cheek. Lily watched, almost hoping they wouldn't notice her and her lack of enthusiasm, but then Ted held her tightly in his arms.

"Pixie, I'm so happy you were here. Wouldn't be right without you, you know. Can't have my little sister not be in the wedding."

Lily smiled as Ted's hair changed to match her shade of red. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, Ted."

His eyes softened and he leaned down so only she could hear. "Give it some time, you'll get to know her like I do. I know she's your cousin, but…"

"Lily!" Victoire was there suddenly, embracing her and kissing her on each cheek. "Oh Lily, I am so sorry I've been so horrible. I will make it up to you, chèri. After the honeymoon I want all the girls to come stay when Ted's away, you, Rosie, Molly, Roxie…"

Lily saw Ted look at her from the corner of her eye. She swallowed hard. "Of course, Vic. Sounds lovely. It was so beautiful and you look so wonderful."

With that the newlyweds left them to say goodbye to Bill and Fleur Weasley. Lily stood and watched, Victoire's invitation still ringing in her head. A visit to their house with all the girl cousins? She was going to need to talk to her Uncle George. That was going to take a lot of Patented Daydream charms. Maybe he'd perfected ones that would last longer than thirty minutes.


	2. Surprises and Revelations

**Surprises and Revelations**

_July 2021_

As the sun began to peek through her red and gold checkered curtains, and a shaft of light washed over her eyes, Lily rolled over in bed. She opened her eyes once and closed them quickly, as she realized exactly what day it was and wished she could return to her dream. It was Saturday, the day that she had to go visit Victoire. What was she going to possibly talk about all day with Vic? Why couldn't it be September when she'd be on the Hogwarts Express heading to her fourth year at Hogwarts? At least Rosie would be there. All of her other female cousins couldn't make it. Teddy owed her, big time.

After slipping out of bed and padding softly along the hardwood floor of her bedroom she found the door to the loo shut and locked. She knocked several times but heard only the 'go away' of James' voice, so instead she made her way to her parent's room. Her soft knock was answered by her mum, and she gently opened the door, afraid of what she might see, as she vividly remembered running in there when she was ten after a bad dream and seeing…well, that. The next morning she had to have _that _talk with her Mum, which was horrible. Luckily this time her mum was sitting up in bed and reading a book, wearing one of her old Harpies t-shirts.

After informing her mum that James was hogging the loo again she made her way into her parent's loo. It was much different than the one she shared with her brothers; everything was in its place, there were no towels on the floor, only the bright white and blue checkerboard tile that ran the length of the floor and halfway up the walls. She gingerly stepped inside the shower and turned on the water, and after it reached the perfect temperature she stood underneath it, letting the water run down her in torrents. Maybe, she thought, she could stay in the shower all day. Maybe she could tell her mum she didn't feel well. And maybe a hippogriff might fly up out of the drain and kiss her arse.

Eventually she exited the loo, towels wrapped around her torso and head, and realized her mum was no longer reading. She knew that her dad was either downstairs or at work, his hours never led to anything approaching regular, so his absence from the bedroom was unremarkable. As she made her way into her bedroom and put on her bra and knickers she suddenly found herself standing in front of her wardrobe wondering what in Merlin's name she was going to wear that day. Spending the day with Vic probably meant lunching at some amazingly wonderful restaurant, or some art gallery or some other dreadful thing, and Vic would probably be wearing some amazing designer dress, and she'd look like a little short nothing with no chest and a mop of red hair. At least her hair behaved, unlike Rosie's. There was a reason nobody wanted to stand next to that side of the family in pictures.

She finally ended up at the breakfast table wearing a pair of old jeans, ratty trainers and a t-shirt that said 'Seekers Get it in the End' above the logo of the Chudley Cannons. She didn't really support the Cannons, but her Uncle Ron had given it to her for her birthday and she knew her mum hated it. As she pulled up her hair into a ponytail her mum sat down her plate; scones, marmalade, fruit slices and a cup of tea. Lily took a sip of tea, added another sugar, and then watched as her mum only glanced at her shirt and went straightaway to the Quidditch section of _The Daily Prophet._ She knew better than to interrupt her mum when she was reading that part of the paper, and she also knew better than to try to talk her mum out of her excursion for the day. She'd attempted that twice before, and it hadn't gone well. Instead she focused on the ancient table, how the grooves in the highly polished wood seemed to gnarl and curl towards the ordinary white plate with the blue stripe around the edges that her mum always used. She knew it wouldn't be like that at Ted and Vic's house, oh no, something that plain wouldn't do at all.

She dawdled over the tea, rationing it out so that she could delay the inevitable for as long as possible. Finally, the tea gone, she knew the time had come.

"Ok, then, time to go. Tell Ted and Vic hello for us." Ginny sat her folded paper down on the table. "I can't sidealong you like we'd planned, I have to go into the office today and talk about a piece for the magazine."

"Mum! _Quidditch Weekly_ can wait, a sidealong won't take but a moment, I'm your only daughter, and…"

"Nice try. Lily, just take the Floo." She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to her daughter. "Here's the address, an easy one, since they named it. Read it back to me so I know you've got it right."

Lily looked at the paper. "Ar…what?"

"Argrimead." Ginny nodded her head. "Arg ri mead. Argrimead."

"That's a dumb name."

"Lily, we've talked about this. It's only for the day. It means so much to Ted and Vic."

"Fine. Argrimead. And I'm only doing this for Teddy."

-ooo-

As soon as Lily arrived in the fireplace she brushed the Floo powder out of her eyes and unconsciously dropped her jaw; the house was nothing as she expected. Instead of some glamorous, glittering expanse of marble in a giant fireplace she stood in an old, hand-hewn stone fireplace. Her surroundings were similar to the fireplace, as the low ceilings and exposed wood beams told her that the house was old, very old. The fireplace opened up into a very small sitting room next to an expansive kitchen, but a kitchen that held an old wood stove and well-worn, but clean counters. Bright sunlight filtered in through the open windows, and a gentle breeze billowed the chintz curtains. The furniture was old as well, but in the same level of cleanliness. Rugs dotted the floor, and small painting hung tastefully on the cream-colored walls. It reminded her of The Burrow in an instant, but somehow the house felt older, smaller.

"Heya, Pixie. Nice shirt." Ted sat at the kitchen table with Rosie, the two of them enjoying tea and biscuits. Rosie looked as shocked as Lily felt.

"Hi Teddy. Thanks, Uncle Ron. You know." Lily gave him a kiss on the cheek and sat down in one of two empty chairs at the table.

"Listen, sorry I can't stay and give you the Sickle tour, but I've got to report in." Ted adjusted his Auror robes. "Your dad would have my hide if I'm late. Don't worry, Vic'll show you round."

"Where is she?" Lily reached over and took a biscuit. "Is she upstairs sleeping?"

"Sleeping?" Ted laughed. "Oh no, she's been up for hours. Ok, I've got to go. She'll be back in a tic, go find her or make yourself at home."

With that Ted waved at the girls, walked to the fireplace and with a pinch of Floo powder disappeared into the green flames.

"Rosie, what's going on? Where's Vic?"

Rose shook her head in disbelief. "You're not going to believe this. She's…I can't believe I'm actually going to say this…Vic is out with the sheep. Back in a 'mo, I need the loo."

Lily sat quietly after Rosie left the table. She looked around, trying to take it all in. There were no gold plated anythings in the house, no posh things that she shouldn't touch and couldn't afford to replace if she broke them as she'd dreaded. Instead a pale blue washrag hung from the faucet above the large sink. A small, chipped goldenrod-colored vase held three daisies, one of which was starting to fade compared to its two, larger companions. Cast iron cookware hung on a rack that descended from the ceiling above the stove, and a new-looking green apron hung from the hook next to the doorway. The tea kettle was also new, but its shining surface only contrasted with the cracked white paint that divided the window panes. The panes in the windows, too, showed their age, as the surface wavered somewhat, as if they were created in the ages before the spells had been crafted to turn out perfect, clear as spring water panes.

As she could contain her curiosity no longer Lily stood up from the chair and walked slowly into the small sitting room, her every step creaking on the well-worn, wide-planked floor. There was no WeasleyVision set there, and if there had been there would have been no room to actually watch her Uncle George's invention. Like the kitchen, everything was very brightly colored, clean, and functional. Two wall sconces sat on either side of the fireplace, each covered by small shades that held decorative flowers along the edges, and Lily could tell that the flowers had been hand-painted as the smoke from the thin, white candles slowly curled out the tops of the shades until it disappeared into wisps of nothingness. The sofa next to the fireplace looked as if it was an antique, but the cushions covering the old wood were new and covered in a bright yellow and pale blue striped pattern.

Lily sat on the sofa and picked up the magazine that lay upside-down on the adjacent cushion. _Magical Farm Monthly _held a cover of a smiling, large wizard with a bushy brown beard and eyebrows to match standing next to a fence while several goats milled about in the background.

"Guess we should go find Vic, then, eh?" Rosie stood in the doorway, arms crossed and leaning against the door jamb.

Lily replaced the magazine on the sofa and got up slowly, as if she was moving underwater. "Yeah."

-ooo-

The two cousins walked out of the door and the wind picked up, causing Lily's ponytail to move over her shoulder into her face, and as she moved it back to its proper location she stopped walking. Rosie took a few steps further, then realized that Lily had stopped.

Lily felt as if she was in a prank of James', but this was beyond his skill. Off in the distance at least a hundred meters away stood her cousin Victoire, wearing a pair of green Wellies and jeans under a long-sleeved t-shirt. Victoire looked over to the girls and waved, indicating for them to join her. As the grass parted in front of her from her footsteps Lily moved towards the white fence that separated Victoire and at least thirty sheep of all colors. Victoire whistled, and from out of nowhere a black and white dog shot out and ran in front of the sheep, causing them to move like a wave away from the fence and out towards an expanse of green.

After slowly turning to Rosie, and watching her cousin straddle then climb over the fence, Lily found that she couldn't move. Was this what her cousin did on the weekends? How did they manage the sheep when she was at the Ministry and Teddy was working? After slowly making her way towards Vic, and avoiding the sheep messes in the pasture, Lily felt her breathing become more rapid. Why was she nervous? It was just her cousin.

"Whip, come!" Victoire's voice rang out across the open air, and soon the black and white dog trotted over to her and instantly lay down at her feet. "I'm so glad you girls could come! Hope you don't mind tagging along, still have work to do."

Lily heard Rosie say something about it not being a bother, but it didn't register as she compared Victoire to the last time she saw her, in her wedding dress. Gone were the jewels, Aunt Muriel's tiara and the expansive white of the beautiful gown. She wore no makeup; her hair was pulled back roughly, causing several strands to stick out horribly. Her face was tan, which contrasted starkly against her silver-blonde hair. The only ornamentation she wore was easily spotted, her small diamond engagement and wedding bands. Over Vic's shoulder the landscape rolled and undulated in a sea of green, dotted with trees and hemmed in with the same white fence. In the distance a small house stood perched on top of the crest of a hill, smoke rising from a large building several meters away from the house.

As Rosie chatted with Vic, Lily's confusion turned to fear; fear of embarrassing herself in front of Vic. Had her mum told her about…all of the things, and she'd never listened? Luckily the dog broke her concentration, as she felt a wet nose brush against her hand. She knelt down and petted the dog, which seemed to be a puppy, actually. Perhaps the stage between puppy and full-grown dog.

"Whip, be a good girl." Vic laughed, the dog bounded over to her and she looked towards the distance. "Come on, then, you two can help me with the chickens. It'll rain soon, won't do to be caught out in that."

The chickens were housed in a large part of the massive barn which sat behind the house, the opposite distance from the sheep. Immediately upon entering the building Lily's nose began to sting and the reason why sat behind a slatted section of wood in a pile of hay, a dappled white and brown cow with long horns that curved down from in front of its ears to almost its mouth. Victoire walked over and patted the cow on its rump, said something about milk and continued on through the barn, hay rustling under her feet. Soon the unmistakable sound, and smell, of chickens let Lily know that they were finally at their destination. As she'd seen her Granny Molly do numerous times, Victoire managed the chickens and was able to eventually collect the eggs. Rosie and Lily held the baskets, and soon the well-worn reed baskets held large, brown eggs.

As they walked out past the cow Lily couldn't help but wonder; who was that person and what had she done with her cousin?

-ooo-

It was at the kitchen table, where the girls helped Victoire clean and prepare the vegetables from the garden, that Lily found out the answers to her questions. She watched Vic closer than she ever had before, truly looked at her. Before she had always seen her cousin as a person who was mostly surface, all impossibly beautiful hair, striking blue eyes and that pretty face, not to mention her figure. Yes, she'd had innumerable conversations with Vic, but only about things at Hogwarts, during family events at The Burrow or one of the events they had to attend with their parents. Now she watched her, how she seemed effortlessly at ease in the small house. Her face lit up as she told Rosie about the magical plants that she and Teddy were planting next year after some advice from Professor Longbottom, how their back field would be a prime spot to raise very important magical plants that Healers needed. Most importantly Lily found out the answer to one her biggest questions; Victoire had quit the Ministry to work the farm while Ted was doing his Auror duties. As Vic crossed her legs and reached for a cup of tea Lily found it impossible to actually answer questions, her answers were short or nonverbal. Rosie glanced at her oddly a few times but continued on with the conversation.

As Vic waved over the speckled green and white teapot to refill their cups Lily thought back over things and a sudden realization hit her as if it had been a bolt out of the blue: Teddy had always loved The Burrow, had always loved the animals. Victoire, her spoiled, haughty, beautiful cousin who had every advantage that someone who looked like her could have, had given it all up to make Teddy happy. Teddy hadn't given in to Vic's demands of a massive, French wedding; he'd done it because he wanted to do it for her. They actually loved each other.

It was in that stunned state that Lily felt a kick against her shins, and she looked over to Rosie. Her bushy-haired cousin was looking at her as if to say, 'well, get on with it.'

"I'm sorry, I'm just daydreaming." Lily smiled over to Victoire. "Sorry."

"It's ok, Lily. Chèri, I hope you won't be mad that I gave her your name."

"My name?" Lily glanced over to Rosie who just rolled her eyes. She shrugged and smiled. "Sorry."

"I gave Melody Boyd your name. You know, Professor Muggle's wife. Something about a modeling job for _Teen Witch Weekly_." Victoire smiled. "I'm not a teenager anymore, so I didn't think it appropriate. I thought you'd be perfect for it. Ted agreed."

"Oh. Thanks." Lily looked down at the bowl in front of her and continued to peel potatoes. As the white, clean potatoes contrasted against the dark brown of the unpeeled ones the Floo roared to life with the head of Teddy Lupin inside. She watched as Victoire bounded over and knelt in front of the green flames that danced inside the fireplace, and Lily was unable to turn away and return to her potatoes. It was then that she realized that the small pang that echoed throughout her stomach wasn't one of hunger or irritation, it was one of jealousy. Not the bitter kind, the one that tastes metallic, but the slow, achy one of desire. One day she would have someone who loved her as much as Vic loved Teddy.


	3. Change of Perspective

**Change of Perspective**

_Late August, 2021_

As Lily helped her Granny Molly in the kitchen she realized that Sunday dinner at The Burrow was one of her favorite things in the entire world. She'd discovered early on that she actually liked cooking, and better than that she had a knack for it. She'd been helping her mum for a few years at Grimmauld Place, along with Kreacher. The house elf had been quite reticent at first about her helping, but the combination of his advancing age and her willingness to take direction had swayed things in her direction. It was much better helping here at The Burrow than at the beginning of the year barbeque her parents always had before Hogwarts term started; nobody would let her help. Professor Muggle, her dad and all the other men sat out by the grill her Grandpa Arthur had bought years ago and did nothing. Well, they sort of cooked sausages and the like, but they were usually either half-burnt or half-raw. Her mum said it was because they drank too much butterbeer and firewhiskey, but she knew that they just didn't have the talent. And it was definitely better at The Burrow because she didn't have to watch Professor Muggle's twin girls drool all over her brother Al. If they only knew what an idiot he was.

As her dad sat in a chair and talked to her Grandpa, Lily continued to knead the dough for the bread. She especially liked baking, how she knew the exact moment to stop kneading, how the dough should look and feel, but especially how it smelled when it was in the oven.

It was with her hands full of flour and wearing one of her Gran's old aprons that the happy, lazy atmosphere changed abruptly and without warning. The front door flew open suddenly and Teddy Lupin came in wearing old, mud-spattered clothing. That was alarming, but when Lily saw his hair she let out a gasp. Teddy's hair was white, as white as new-fallen snow, and his face was a mask of pain.

"Harry! Harry!" Ted walked quickly into the sitting room, ignoring the copious amounts of mud that fell off of his blue Wellies.

"Calm down, Ted." Harry stood up and put his hands on Ted's shoulders. "What is it? Training, now. Deep breath, then slowly. Tell me the facts."

Ted took a few deep breaths, closed his eyes, and then looked over to his godfather. "It's, um…damn. Sorry, I…Vic…"

Harry's face became very calm and Lily recognized his Serious Dad tone. "Is she ok, Ted?"

"Yeah." Teddy's voice wavered, and Lily knew that he wasn't very convinced of his own words.

Ginny walked over to the two Aurors. "Did you have a row, Teddy? You knew it would happen eventually. Merlin knows Harry and I have…"

Ted shook his head forcefully. "No, it's not that, it's…she's ok, she doesn't know I'm here, I…" He broke off suddenly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you. I…" He took another deep breath, one that seemed to involve his entire body as it heaved up and then down. "Can…can you give me a few minutes? I need some air."

Lily watched as Teddy walked back out of the open door into the green of the lawn that surrounded The Burrow. It was as her Gran quietly cleaned up the mud with a cleansing spell that her parents began to argue about what to do.

"Harry, go after him! Something's wrong, even if he didn't come out and say it. Did you see his hair?"

"I saw, Ginny. Give him some space. He said he'd be back."

"But you don't know that! Remember when he ran away…"

"He was six! Come on, this is bigger than not letting him have a ride on my broom. Ginny, he's twenty-three and I'm his godfather, not his father."

"You've been his father, Harry, even if he's not your child. Tonks would have gone after him."

"And Remus would have told her not to. We're not doing this again, Ginny. He's a man now, not a little boy. If he said he'd be back soon then he'll be back soon." Harry watched his wife purse her lips at him and give him a look. He knew what that meant. "Fine. If he's not back within the hour I'll go after him. Satisfied?"

As everyone watched Lily quietly took off her apron, hung it on a peg and slipped out the back door, wiping the flour from her hands onto her legs as she walked. She knew where he was going.

-ooo-

About a half kilometer from The Burrow is a little pond, somewhat murky at times and often filled with fish of questionable value for eating, but that was not on her mind as Lily walked towards the area with a sense of purpose. As the birds flitted about and a wayward gnome hurried across the path she increased her pace; she wanted to run but knew that if she did it would only make things worse. As she came around the bend, the one that began the slight descent down the hill towards the pond, she saw him.

Teddy was sitting against the big tree, in shadow. He had his wand out and was making things appear in the air momentarily but almost as soon as they materialized they disappeared into mist and floated away. Streaks of the mist, blue and pink, floated in the air as the current carried them slowly across the pond.

She stopped before he could see her and felt her heart ache, as it reminded her of the time that Victoire had broken up with Teddy. He had done the same thing; sit by the tree and stare out at the pond. That time he had ended up sitting there for hours, and when Lily found him the stars were already up and a faint, pale moon had hung in the sky. Lily closed her eyes for a moment and then found herself walking down to the tree. She stopped a few meters away from him and waited for him to notice.

Teddy's eyes were red from tears as he looked up. "Oh. Hey, Pixie."

Lily walked over and sat next to him with her back against the tree trunk. She leaned her head into his shoulder, and the two of them sat like that for what seemed like an eternity to her. Finally, she reached over and took his hand.

That was the action that brought Teddy out. "It's ok, Lily. I know it'll be ok, Vic said it will be, but…it doesn't feel ok."

Once again Teddy lifted up his wand and created something in the air. This time, though, Lily was close enough to see what it was. The air seemed to solidify for a second, and where there was once nothing there were a set of baby booties, in pink, that blinked into existence for a moment and then were gone. Lily closed her eyes tightly and felt her face get hot, but she didn't want to cry.

"They said it was early, Pixie. They said it happens, and that doesn't mean we can't try again."

Lily tightened her grip on Teddy's hand. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl. Too early." Ted flicked his wand again, and this time a rattle appeared in the air, blue as a robin's egg, but it too evaporated as quickly as it came into existence.

Lily saw a frog jump up and break the surface of the water and then splash down again, the ripples of its re-entrance into the water spread out swiftly at first but then slowed and calmed until once again the surface was as placid as before. Somewhere off in the distance a bird began a shrill, insistent call that hung in the air until it was answered from the opposite side of the pond. She looked down at Ted's Wellies, almost free of mud, and noticed how large they were compared to her trainers, how even if she put both her feet together they probably wouldn't fill up one of Ted's boots. Those were the distractions. Her mind kept going back to Teddy, and even more so to Victoire.

"Thanks for not bombarding me with questions. Surprised your mum isn't out here." Ted looked over to her, his hair a dark chocolate brown.

"Dad said you're a grown man and to let you be. Mum made him promise that if you are not back in an hour he'll come looking for you."

"Figures." Ted picked up a stone and tossed it into the pond, repeating the cycle of the ripples. "Also figures you'd find me out here." He looked over to her. "Listen, if you tell your brothers this I'll deny it, but you're my favorite, Pixie. Always have been. I know you're a kid…"

"I'm almost fourteen." Lily narrowed her eyes.

"Right. Sorry." Ted scratched his ear for a moment. "But seriously, you shouldn't have to listen to this. But I'm glad you're here, because I know you'll listen. Now, I know you weren't thrilled when I married Vic. Don't try to deny it; you're not good at faking. Never have been."

Ted was quiet for what seemed like a long time. Lily felt like saying something but instead she kept very quiet. Ted was talking, and that's what she wanted. His words were halting, sometimes with long pauses in-between, but she knew she needed to just listen.

"It's the reason we bought the farm, you know. Kids." Ted leaned his head against the tree trunk and looked up through the leaves. "Never had a chance to know Mum and Dad, all I had were stories. Gran and your mum and dad have been great, more than anyone could ever ask for, but Vic knew I wanted a family of my own. She always knew. When she found the farm and told me why she'd picked it out? Well, I couldn't believe it. You could have knocked me down with a feather. She knew I always wanted to own a farm, to live like that out in the country. I told her it wouldn't work, I'm an Auror, and with the schedule I keep it would be impossible for me to do my job and for her to work at the Ministry and properly keep a farm. That's when she told me she would quit. Said it would be easier to have all those kids if she was at home. I told her she was barmy and she said that Molly did it, and if Molly could do it then she could, too."

After a long spell of silence Lily finally found her voice. "She loves you. And you love her. You'll be a great dad, Teddy."

He chuckled slightly. "Thanks, Lils. I hope so."

"I know so. You've been the best big brother."

He leaned his head over until it touched hers. "Better than James?"

Lily snorted.

"Better than Al?"

"The best, Teddy. That's why I was a complete arse about everything. I'm sorry. It's hard having Vic as a cousin."

"Yeah, I heard about that. Rosie filled me in a while back. It's not her fault…"

"That she's as pretty and fit as her mum, I know, I know. Veela. Ugh."

"And French?" Ted elbowed her. "It's ok, Pixie. Guess she surprised you and Rosie out at the farm the other day then, huh?"

"Bloody hell, Teddy! I don't know if I've ever been so…so…"

"Yeah, she said that." His light-hearted tone disappeared. "I should get back. She's all alone there now, and I left after feeding the sheep, she doesn't know I'm here."

Lily stood up quickly and looked at him. "Then go. I'll tell everyone you've left. I won't say anything else."

Ted stood up and took Lily into his arms. "It's ok. You can tell them. They'll have to know eventually. Just try and keep Molly away for the rest of today, ok? Just give us some time."

-ooo-

Lily sat in the kitchen at Argrimead as the women plotted out the chores. They had all arrived early in the morning, Granny Molly earliest of all, and had begun tending to the animals without a word. Teddy had come downstairs for tea and a tray to take upstairs to Vic, but besides that he moved through the house as if he was a ghost. Her dad had told Teddy that he wasn't to return to duty for a week, and with everything going on Teddy just didn't know what to do. Fleur had been upstairs a few times but each time upon returning only gave them the same report; she was resting and that she wanted to be alone with Teddy.

Dominique wanted to talk to her sister but Fleur told her quietly that it could wait. As Ginny and Fleur made lists of what chores were to be done by whom Lily decided that she'd had enough of the quiet vigil; she stood up, put her teacup in the sink and walked quietly to the back door. When she was confident that nobody had noticed she pulled on the ancient doorknob and opened the door as silently as possible.

The blindingly bright sunlight was almost an affront to her mood. As the large, puffy clouds drifted slowly in the sky she began walking, heedless of destination. When she found herself at the door of the barn it was a surprise, as she hadn't meant to go there. Actually she hadn't meant to go anywhere; she just wanted to be outside. As the large wooden door with its cracked and flaking red paint creaked open she stepped cautiously inside.

Once again the smell came to her, but this time it was different. Instead of shocking her it felt oddly soothing. It wasn't an old barn with smelly animals, it was Teddy and Vic's barn, with their animals. The animals that provided the milk, the eggs, the wool. She walked past the cow that gazed at her with those big, deep brown eyes, and found a clean pile of straw next to a wall. Ignoring her clothing she sat down in the pile and leaned back against the wall. Soon, though, she was jolted out of her thoughts by something cold and wet on her hand. A dog's nose.

"Come here, girl." Lily patted the straw next to her and the black and white dog lay down next to her, putting its head in her lap.

Lily petted the dog almost automatically, registering the smooth, thick fur of the dog as she stroked from the top of the head down towards the tail. The sound of the chickens clucking softly fell on her ears and she looked down at the dog.

"Don't be mean to the chickens, Whip."

As if understanding the dog licked her hand. Lily sat there for a long time just staring at the barn, how the timbers that held up the roof seemed almost as ancient as the house, watched as the dust particles seemed to almost shine as they drifted through the shafts of light that made their way through the windows onto the dirt floor. More than anything, though, she wanted to do something. She felt useless; all of the things that really needed done had already been completed or divvied up between Granny Molly, her mum and her Aunt Fleur. She'd insisted on coming along earlier that morning, but what could she do?

As the chickens clucked again she knew exactly what she could do.

-ooo-

When she re-entered the house all of the women looked at her, but Lily didn't pay any attention. Instead she went directly to the sink, washed up, and started taking things out of the small magical refrigerator, one of the only brand-new and modern magical appliances in the house. After she'd placed the needed items on the small counter by the stove she turned to the pantry and began gathering other requirements.

"Lily, dear, what are you doing?" Her Granny Molly walked over next to her. "I've already made them something."

"For today. They'll need things later on. I'm going to make things that are good as leftovers or heated up quickly. Vic won't want to cook and Teddy's hopeless in the kitchen."

"She iz right." Fleur came over and put a hand on Lily's shoulder. "I zink he could burn water. Zank you, Lily, I know zey will appreciate eet. Eet eez very sweet of you."

As the day stretched on into early evening Ginny told Lily that she had to head back, but before leaving she hugged her daughter tightly and kissed her. "You are a very thoughtful girl, Lily Luna. I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks, Mum." Lily took the braided cloth potholders off of the hook next to the stove. "I'll be home soon."

"Stay as long as you need to. Floo'll be open." Ginny gave her a warm smile, embraced Granny Molly and Fleur, and soon disappeared via the Floo.

As Molly and Fleur talked quietly in the small sitting room Lily made the finishing touches to the evening meal. It wasn't much, but it was hearty and the crust on her shepherd's pies had turned out wonderfully. She arranged the items on the small tray, added the silverware and the napkins, but at the last second she stopped before picking up the tray. As it was during her last visit the small vase sat with daisies in it, this time freshly cut, so Lily placed the small vase on the tray alongside the food.

She made her way up the narrow stairs to the only room on the second floor, the bedroom. As she sat the tray down gently she wished she was seventeen; it would have been so much easier to levitate the tray with magic than carry it by hand. She knocked on the door softly. "Teddy? Vic? It's Lily, I've brought you something to eat."

After a few moments the door opened slowly, revealing a portion of the bedroom. Lily picked up the tray and maneuvered it cautiously through the doorway. As she walked fully into the room she took it all in quickly; Vic was in bed, sitting up with a book as Ted slept soundly in a chair, his feet propped up on the empty side of the bed. The room itself was small, a small floral print on the wallpaper, with only the necessary furniture. Vic was covered by a light, pale yellow cotton blanket and wore a t-shirt that Lily knew was Teddy's.

"Oh Lily, thank you." Vic's voice was quiet and soft, so different than the last time Lily visited. She nodded towards Teddy. "He just fell asleep. He's been…he hasn't slept much so I don't want to wake him."

Lily nodded and handed Vic the tray; as she held it Lily extended the legs so it fit snugly over Vic's lap. After that she turned to leave.

"Lily? Will you stay for a moment?"

Lily turned and Vic's eyes were hopeful. She nodded and went to sit, but there wasn't a chair. Vic reached over to the nightstand, took her wand and conjured a comfortable chair just the right height for Lily.

"It's just a shepherd's pie. There's more downstairs." She took the flowers off of the tray and sat them on the nightstand next to Vic. "I thought these would be nice."

Vic's face brightened at the flowers. "He brings those to me every day. I don't know where he gets them; we don't have daisies here on the farm. Even if he's out on assignment they somehow end up here. Fresh daisies."

Lily glanced over at Ted, his hair a dark shade of brown, almost black.

"He's taking it very hard." Vic straightened up in bed and sighed. "Lily, I told him we can try again. He doesn't want to talk about it. He did say that he talked to you, though."

"A little." Lily sat deeply in the chair and rested her head on the back.

"Rosie told him not to worry, but he wouldn't listen. Yes, Lily, I know she's not always right; her visions don't always come true. But I believe. I've always believed, even before Rosie's vision. It's one of the reasons we bought the farm."

Lily squirmed a bit in her chair. Having such a frank discussion so soon after everything had happened was uncomfortable enough but she felt guilty about her feelings at the wedding. "Vic, I'm sorry that…"

"Oh Lily. I was horrible. I know that. I just wanted it to be perfect for Teddy. For us. I knew that the days of dresses and receptions at the Ministry were going to end. Can't last forever. And I'm sorry we haven't spent much time together. Now that you're older it's much easier, the age difference doesn't matter as much."

Teddy snorted, kicked his legs a few times and rolled over so that his face was almost wedged between the arm and the back of the chair.

"And as for Teddy." Vic looked over to Lily. "I know you're his favorite. He told me about things, how you two have always had a special bond. I don't want to change that."

"I'm a complete idiot." Lily shook her head. "With everything that's just happened you're apologizing to me?"

"Lily, you know Teddy. The first day I thought I might be pregnant he wanted to build a nursery downstairs. He was about to start tearing down a wall when I stopped him. I will be fine. Am I sad? Of course I am. But like the Healer said, I'm young and we can try again. I'm more worried about him, honestly."

Lily swung her legs back and forth under the chair. She knew that she needed to mentally take back everything nasty she'd ever thought about her cousin. As she looked at Vic, her sliver-blonde hair falling over one shoulder, and saw the warmth in those china-blue eyes, she couldn't help herself. Very quietly she slipped off the chair, went over to the bed and hugged her cousin.

"I'm sorry, Vic. For everything."

Victoire smoothed Lily's hair in even, calm strokes. "It's ok, Lily. I know Teddy's your big brother. He's my husband now, but he'll always be your big brother. You know that, don't you?"

Lily nodded. "I do."


End file.
